The Matriarch

 The Matriarch. 

I have little regard for sappy missives of young lovers. 

I tire of seeing young whippersnappers fawning over each other on the avenue. 

Earn your stripes, oh young’uns. 

Live a little. Let your souls take on color. 

I believe I’ve earned the right …..

After that terrible day, and without really consciously intending to, Dini and I adopted a more honest and genuine approach to living. Perhaps because life got real, our new normal seemed to have obviated a need to conform. Wearing our hearts on our sleeve, we do what is natural and honest. Heck, we’ve even been seen holding hands in public! 

We have gone through a lot. Hugely! I’m not certain the best of marriages would emerge unscathed. And to be certain, ours certainly was not the outlier. 

There’s no law that states that those that suffer loss must grieve endlessly. That those who’ve been wronged (seemingly) by destiny, must suffer needlessly. 

A friend, or a shadchan (matchmaker) looks at 2 souls and says ‘Come together as one’. It seems for us that Yocheved was our second shadchan, our re-igniter. She set in motion a force of healing and closeness we never knew possible. Dini will often express her gratitude to her. As a child who heals her parents. A teacher. She knew what must happen. We did not. Clearly otherworldly. 

We strive to rejoice rather than to mourn. We choose gratefulness over victimhood. The sacrifice has a purpose. Our family, in humility, count our blessings. We have ways to go. If we are to go by the initial chapters, this will be a Holy Book. 

‘Turn, turn, turn’, chant The Byrds. 

Sans apology, I allow myself  this public display of affection. 

To my Dini

I choose you. Again. Anew. 

We’ve both done some hard work to get here. You, more than I. You’ve forged a path of healing that is beyond brave. It’s Herculean. By doing so, you have brought us closer. I celebrate you. I celebrate us. And together, we celebrate the possibilities. 

As a confused young adult I really did not know or understand what I wanted in a spouse. We were clueless. I was clueless. But by Divine Providence I married you. You catch me. You save me. You love me. You forgive me. I tell you, ‘Where would I be if not for you?’

As I write this, you are off the grid. Doing the courageous. Oh, how you inspire. You are a warrior for good. For healing. For growth. For kindness. I am grateful for you. You continue to unite us. Our family. You are our Matriarch. 

I pray I can be worthy. 

I love you.